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"If you are in a relationship where your cheating partner claims they are not 'naturally monogamous' and they give you the 'we are not born to be with one person' speech, then it’s likely they are not ready, willing, or don’t have the capacity to mate with one person.
And they might be telling you the truth, they might not be cut out for monogamy," Nelson says.
That can mean sexual needs — but it often means someone's emotional needs aren't being addressed. Paulette Sherman, psychologist, author of Dating from the Inside Out and director of My Dating & Relationship School agrees: “If someone feels like their partner doesn't care about their emotional needs or what's happening with them on a daily basis anymore, they might try to find someone who appears more interested and excited about them.”That said, it’s not on you to be his mind reader — it's on him to be an equally communicative partner.
If expressing needs and desires is difficult for him, it may be time for him to explore why with the help of a therapist.
“Some men cheat because they are struggling with what I call 'second adolescence,'" Nelson says.
"Anyone who cheats has a piece of narcissism to their personality," says Walfish.It's also important to figure out whether the man is just sorry for how he feels or for how his life has been affected, or because it truly hurts him to see his partner hurting.Nelson says that post-affair, people either "make up," "break up," or "wake up." While infidelity can trigger a divorce, a marriage can emerge stronger once a couple works through it, assuming both parties want to repair the relationship."Whether couples can move forward after an affair depends on their values and ability to forgive and rebuild trust," Sherman says. Of course, they cheat for a multitude of reasons, because relationships — and people — are complex."All kinds of variations and complications can come up in relationships," Walfish says.